Calling, talking, etc.

Okay. So before I had read the comments and emails lecturing me about visiting teaching, I had decided to call my companion and chat with her about visiting teaching.

I told her that I have never done it before and she said: "no problem, I'll pick you up and I'll tell you all about it, it's super easy." One of our ladies I have met a couple of times. She is the African-American, diabetic, with blue hair. My companion also said that this lady, I have no idea what her name is, is super excited for us to come.

I met with  my companion, which name I also do not know, yesterday. And she said we will go see the above mentioned girl, and that we will just show up at the other girls' homes we have assigned to us. No, I most definitely do not like the idea of that at all. Oh well.

Now, my husband is in trouble, and our Bishop's out of his mind.

My husband is in trouble for agreeing to meet with the Bishop, without asking me first.

Yesterday, the Bishop asked me to accept a calling... The calling is Enrichment Meeting Committee Member. Now, a member on the relief society asked me to be part of this committee like six months ago. I haven't been involved at all. They have never informed of when the meetings are, etc.

Before the Bishop kidnapped us, I had decided that I didn't want to be on this committee. I don't have any place to be part of it. Now, my reasoning is this: enrichment has always been, and will always be how to raise a family. And we don't, and can't have any kids. So it makes me feel ten times worse than I already do about myself, and not having kids already. It reminds me of how much different I am because I don't fit the normal LDS mold.  It's a constant reminder of depression.

When he asked if I would accept a calling, I told him: Maybe, it depends on what it is.  He laughed. When he told me what the calling would be. I paused, and informed him that they asked me to that six months ago.  He then asked again if I would take it, I again said maybe. He asked me "well, when will you know?" Followed by: " Do you have any concerns?" Dean interrupted and smartly said "I know what her concerns are!" The Bishop kind of looked shocked. And said: "you do? Let her tell them to me." Insert awkward silence here, along with a few giggles out of me. I then told him that it's not a good fit for someone that is in an infertile relationship. He looked stunned, and asked me to explain. So I explained to him that enrichment (he is still calling it homemaking) has always been, and will always be only about how to raise kids. He said, oh no it's not. I told him that yes it is, it always has been and will always be that way.

He then explained, in very short detail about him and his wife's struggle with infertility. They were able to get pregnant,  but were not able to sustain a pregnancy. And yes, folks, that is also a part of infertility.

He also tried to argue with me that that's not what enrichment is all about. But, it is. I won the argument. One of my key examples to give him was that just yesterday, the women were asked to bring some lady in the ward a baby picture of ourselves, and our families now. They reiterated "of your children" several times. If that's not about having kids, I don't know what is. If I do go to this activity, I am going to take a baby picture of me, and a blank, black picture for the kids that I do have now. I think it's genius.

Well, anyway, after arguing with the bishop for several minutes, I then said "sure, why not?" I got the stunned look again. It's fun to get the stunned look from my Bishop. He then said "that's great! We'll set you apart next week.

Okay, so this entire time one of the counselors is standing in the room, which I was finding very odd. I tried my best to ignore him, but you really can't ignore the elephant in the room. (No, I am not calling him an elephant.)

Once we had settled the calling argument, the counselor that was in the room asked us to speak in Church next Sunday. I told him he was nuts. My first thought was, "too bad you didn't ask last year when I had the resolution I had to find the faith once again!" I would of done it then.  Dean said that he would only speak if I would. I said I would only speak if Dean would. I asked him what the topic was. He said that it was the topic of our choice, as long as it was based off of last October's general conference.

I told him no. So we are not speaking in church on Sunday. However, I came home feeling incredibly guilty. So, what do I do? I look on lds.org to look up the Bishops office phone number. I called it with the intention of saying that we changed our minds and that we will talk in Sunday. However I got no answered, so we are not speaking in Church on Sunday. YAY!

So in short, Dean now as a calling, his is young men's instructor.
I have a calling. It's Enrichment Committee Member.
I am going to give visiting teaching a shot.
And we are not speaking in church on Sunday.

Visiting Teaching

Okay. So I have been in Vegas for just about a year now.  And to my relief, no one has assigned me to the role of visiting teacher, and I have been incredibly happy with this...Until last week that is. I got a call, well more like Dean got a call on his phone for me. For some reason the church cant grasp the concept that spouses don't share phone numbers, that each person has there one phone these days, which is incredibly frustrating. I have filled out a change of phone number form five times since we have been here. I only want the church to have our home phone number, and my ward hasn't changed my number on the official paperwork.  It was some random lady asking me to call her back, so we schedule our visiting teaching appointments. Now I have never done the whole visiting teaching thing, ever. I can't say that I completely agree with the idea. I have always had the opinion of it that it is assigned friendships. As I have gotten older, I guess I can see why it was invented, to help others, but I am of the strong opinion that its assigned friendships. If someone really needs help, they are a lot more likely to go to there neighbors and friends they have known for a long time, or family. They are not going to go to some stranger for help.

Now, here in Vegas, I still don't have any friends. Should I do this visiting teaching stuff as a way to make friends here? Or should I continue ignoring the phone calls?  One big turn off for me with this visiting teaching stuff, is that I have extreme anxiety, so much so that I have actually been in the hospital for it before. (the systems of anxiety attack or much like that of a heart attack) I don't like strangers, and yes, it goes much deeper then the cliche "stranger, danger." This topic will be discussed in one of my other blogs.

I would be much happier not being a visiting teacher. Who really wants complete strangers to welcome themselves to there home? Especially in our neighborhood of the ghetto? What if they are the people that want absolutely nothing to do with the church, and yes this does include visiting, and home teachers? And yes, I have been that person that has gone to the bishop to tell him to remove me from the list of people that need to be visit taught. And yes, I have slammed the door on the faces of my home teachers in the passed. I happen to be married to one of them now.  If people continually go to homes, or send things in the mail, and the people do not want anything to do with the church, it can lead to an harassment lawsuit.

Should I avoid the situation of visiting teaching, or should I just roll with the punches?

Feeling Blessed

Okay.  So last Friday I received a paycheck for 36 hours for the training that I did at the company I work for full time. It was a small check, but nevertheless every penny helps right now. We are strapped for cash, majorly.

On Sunday we paid tithing on the check.

In the mail on Monday I received a completely random check totaling almost 200 dollars from a company that I work for but haven't done the training. In fact, I have done nothing more than the initial interview. This is almost the amount we need to finish paying our bills for the remainder of the month.

On Tuesday I spent all day calling the hr department trying to figure out why on earth I got it and what to do with it, to no avail.

Today, on Wednesday, I was able to talk to the Chief Financial officer and get it all straightened out. It was a check for 20 hours of training, which I have NOT done.  My soon to be immediate boss made a mistake and filled out the form and said I had done the training.  The C.F.O decided to let me keep the MUCH NEEDED money, and I will just get another check for 20 hours once I have completed the trainings.  So basically I have been pre-paid to do the trainings which take place later this month.

I can't help but to think this major blessing was from paying tithing.  I feel so blessed. And I know that my Father is really watching out for me these days.

Morals and Values

Okay so I trained for my new job this week. Yeah go me.  As a result of training I met everyone else who is working for the same company that I have the privilege of working for here in our current town.

Quite often during our "free time" the conversation often revolved around how badly each person needed a cigarette or how much they had to drink the night before or what there favorite alcoholic beverage is, etc.

I looked around the room and noticed that each of them also had tattoos.  One had an amazing tattoo with a picture of her goddaughter that looks very real-life. The artist did a great job. And in my opinion everyone else's tattoos were not very attractive.  

There had been a discussion about one girl's tattoo and that she didn't like it anymore because it was a name of a person (her ex) and that she wanted to get it either removed or covered up.

While these people were discussing such things and I was noticing there tattoos I kept thinking that it is incredibly amazing that I was raised with such great standards that help me be safe and healthy.  By abstaining from tobacco I significantly lower the risk of getting lung cancer. By abstaining from alcohol I lower the chance of me suffering from liver disease.  From sustaining from getting tattoos I significantly lower the chance of contracting HIV/AIDS from reused needles. 


How awesome is it that I was raised with superb morals and values that stemmed from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints? I think it is superbly awesome.  It makes me VERY HAPPY!

Temple

Okay. Now that we have moved, we live within 3 miles of the temple. This temple sits on a hill, which makes it really awesome for me to see everyday. Every time we are coming home I can see it.  What a perfect place we live at and what a perfect place it is to remind me of what I am hoping to find these days.

Our ward meetinghouse is on the way to the temple from our home.  And in church today I was thinking thinking that going to church is just one step we have to do in order to go to the temple.

Every time I see the temple when I am coming home, it reminds me that I want to be able to go there.. I want to be a temple recomend holder and attend regularly. I miss going to the temple.

To me, seeing the temple right now while on my way home is symbolic.  The temple is a House of the Lord,  and I want to live with Him again. I hope I can be found worthy so that I can.

I don't think us living at this home is a coincidence right now. I need and enjoy the constant reminder.

Economic Miracles

Okay. So its been a while since my last post on here. My life took a sudden turn for the extreme busy.

A few weeks back, I knelt in prayer. For the first time in a very long time, while I explained to my Father my incredibly rough economic circumstances. I explained to Him that I need a job, or we will loose our home. I had been interviewing at a variety of places left and right. About 2 hours later, my phone rang. It was a job offer. I broke down in tears. Tears of joy that He listened to my pleads. 

I continued to fill out more job applications in hopes that it would be guarenteed hours because the first job offer was only on-call. 

I filled out a job application for an (undisclosed company) on Wendesday. I had an interview with them on Thursday. On Sunday,  I paid tithing on some money that was given to us from a couple of sources.  My husband said that we didn't need to pay tithing on that money, and I told him that we needed to. So I did anyway. On Monday I got a phone call offering me a full time position with full benefits. This includes medical, dental, vision, and tuition reimbursement.  I cried again. So happy.

Maybe this was all a coincidence, but I highly doubt it.

Conference

Over the last two days, I  have been grateful that I was able to watch general conference in my own home.  I have not watched general conference since 2003. 

And I will say this: I actually enjoyed it.  I enjoyed what the latter-day prophets had to say regarding all of the topics that was presented: Commitment, Covenants,  Eternal Life,  Faith, Honesty, Kindness, Morality, Obedience, Prayer, Service, Testimonies, Worthiness, and the Church Welfare Program.

I feel so blessed to be able to be part of a church that has a modern day prophet.