Calling, talking, etc.

Okay. So before I had read the comments and emails lecturing me about visiting teaching, I had decided to call my companion and chat with her about visiting teaching.

I told her that I have never done it before and she said: "no problem, I'll pick you up and I'll tell you all about it, it's super easy." One of our ladies I have met a couple of times. She is the African-American, diabetic, with blue hair. My companion also said that this lady, I have no idea what her name is, is super excited for us to come.

I met with  my companion, which name I also do not know, yesterday. And she said we will go see the above mentioned girl, and that we will just show up at the other girls' homes we have assigned to us. No, I most definitely do not like the idea of that at all. Oh well.

Now, my husband is in trouble, and our Bishop's out of his mind.

My husband is in trouble for agreeing to meet with the Bishop, without asking me first.

Yesterday, the Bishop asked me to accept a calling... The calling is Enrichment Meeting Committee Member. Now, a member on the relief society asked me to be part of this committee like six months ago. I haven't been involved at all. They have never informed of when the meetings are, etc.

Before the Bishop kidnapped us, I had decided that I didn't want to be on this committee. I don't have any place to be part of it. Now, my reasoning is this: enrichment has always been, and will always be how to raise a family. And we don't, and can't have any kids. So it makes me feel ten times worse than I already do about myself, and not having kids already. It reminds me of how much different I am because I don't fit the normal LDS mold.  It's a constant reminder of depression.

When he asked if I would accept a calling, I told him: Maybe, it depends on what it is.  He laughed. When he told me what the calling would be. I paused, and informed him that they asked me to that six months ago.  He then asked again if I would take it, I again said maybe. He asked me "well, when will you know?" Followed by: " Do you have any concerns?" Dean interrupted and smartly said "I know what her concerns are!" The Bishop kind of looked shocked. And said: "you do? Let her tell them to me." Insert awkward silence here, along with a few giggles out of me. I then told him that it's not a good fit for someone that is in an infertile relationship. He looked stunned, and asked me to explain. So I explained to him that enrichment (he is still calling it homemaking) has always been, and will always be only about how to raise kids. He said, oh no it's not. I told him that yes it is, it always has been and will always be that way.

He then explained, in very short detail about him and his wife's struggle with infertility. They were able to get pregnant,  but were not able to sustain a pregnancy. And yes, folks, that is also a part of infertility.

He also tried to argue with me that that's not what enrichment is all about. But, it is. I won the argument. One of my key examples to give him was that just yesterday, the women were asked to bring some lady in the ward a baby picture of ourselves, and our families now. They reiterated "of your children" several times. If that's not about having kids, I don't know what is. If I do go to this activity, I am going to take a baby picture of me, and a blank, black picture for the kids that I do have now. I think it's genius.

Well, anyway, after arguing with the bishop for several minutes, I then said "sure, why not?" I got the stunned look again. It's fun to get the stunned look from my Bishop. He then said "that's great! We'll set you apart next week.

Okay, so this entire time one of the counselors is standing in the room, which I was finding very odd. I tried my best to ignore him, but you really can't ignore the elephant in the room. (No, I am not calling him an elephant.)

Once we had settled the calling argument, the counselor that was in the room asked us to speak in Church next Sunday. I told him he was nuts. My first thought was, "too bad you didn't ask last year when I had the resolution I had to find the faith once again!" I would of done it then.  Dean said that he would only speak if I would. I said I would only speak if Dean would. I asked him what the topic was. He said that it was the topic of our choice, as long as it was based off of last October's general conference.

I told him no. So we are not speaking in church on Sunday. However, I came home feeling incredibly guilty. So, what do I do? I look on lds.org to look up the Bishops office phone number. I called it with the intention of saying that we changed our minds and that we will talk in Sunday. However I got no answered, so we are not speaking in Church on Sunday. YAY!

So in short, Dean now as a calling, his is young men's instructor.
I have a calling. It's Enrichment Committee Member.
I am going to give visiting teaching a shot.
And we are not speaking in church on Sunday.

Visiting Teaching

Okay. So I have been in Vegas for just about a year now.  And to my relief, no one has assigned me to the role of visiting teacher, and I have been incredibly happy with this...Until last week that is. I got a call, well more like Dean got a call on his phone for me. For some reason the church cant grasp the concept that spouses don't share phone numbers, that each person has there one phone these days, which is incredibly frustrating. I have filled out a change of phone number form five times since we have been here. I only want the church to have our home phone number, and my ward hasn't changed my number on the official paperwork.  It was some random lady asking me to call her back, so we schedule our visiting teaching appointments. Now I have never done the whole visiting teaching thing, ever. I can't say that I completely agree with the idea. I have always had the opinion of it that it is assigned friendships. As I have gotten older, I guess I can see why it was invented, to help others, but I am of the strong opinion that its assigned friendships. If someone really needs help, they are a lot more likely to go to there neighbors and friends they have known for a long time, or family. They are not going to go to some stranger for help.

Now, here in Vegas, I still don't have any friends. Should I do this visiting teaching stuff as a way to make friends here? Or should I continue ignoring the phone calls?  One big turn off for me with this visiting teaching stuff, is that I have extreme anxiety, so much so that I have actually been in the hospital for it before. (the systems of anxiety attack or much like that of a heart attack) I don't like strangers, and yes, it goes much deeper then the cliche "stranger, danger." This topic will be discussed in one of my other blogs.

I would be much happier not being a visiting teacher. Who really wants complete strangers to welcome themselves to there home? Especially in our neighborhood of the ghetto? What if they are the people that want absolutely nothing to do with the church, and yes this does include visiting, and home teachers? And yes, I have been that person that has gone to the bishop to tell him to remove me from the list of people that need to be visit taught. And yes, I have slammed the door on the faces of my home teachers in the passed. I happen to be married to one of them now.  If people continually go to homes, or send things in the mail, and the people do not want anything to do with the church, it can lead to an harassment lawsuit.

Should I avoid the situation of visiting teaching, or should I just roll with the punches?