Okay. So I have been in Vegas for just about a year now. And to my relief, no one has assigned me to the role of visiting teacher, and I have been incredibly happy with this...Until last week that is. I got a call, well more like Dean got a call on his phone for me. For some reason the church cant grasp the concept that spouses don't share phone numbers, that each person has there one phone these days, which is incredibly frustrating. I have filled out a change of phone number form five times since we have been here. I only want the church to have our home phone number, and my ward hasn't changed my number on the official paperwork. It was some random lady asking me to call her back, so we schedule our visiting teaching appointments. Now I have never done the whole visiting teaching thing, ever. I can't say that I completely agree with the idea. I have always had the opinion of it that it is assigned friendships. As I have gotten older, I guess I can see why it was invented, to help others, but I am of the strong opinion that its assigned friendships. If someone really needs help, they are a lot more likely to go to there neighbors and friends they have known for a long time, or family. They are not going to go to some stranger for help.
Now, here in Vegas, I still don't have any friends. Should I do this visiting teaching stuff as a way to make friends here? Or should I continue ignoring the phone calls? One big turn off for me with this visiting teaching stuff, is that I have extreme anxiety, so much so that I have actually been in the hospital for it before. (the systems of anxiety attack or much like that of a heart attack) I don't like strangers, and yes, it goes much deeper then the cliche "stranger, danger." This topic will be discussed in one of my other blogs.
I would be much happier not being a visiting teacher. Who really wants complete strangers to welcome themselves to there home? Especially in our neighborhood of the ghetto? What if they are the people that want absolutely nothing to do with the church, and yes this does include visiting, and home teachers? And yes, I have been that person that has gone to the bishop to tell him to remove me from the list of people that need to be visit taught. And yes, I have slammed the door on the faces of my home teachers in the passed. I happen to be married to one of them now. If people continually go to homes, or send things in the mail, and the people do not want anything to do with the church, it can lead to an harassment lawsuit.
Should I avoid the situation of visiting teaching, or should I just roll with the punches?
First, I have a couple questions... How do you feel about callings? Should you accept them no matter what? Do you trust your bishop (or other church leaders) to listen to the promptings of the Spirit?
ReplyDeletePersonally, I used to feel the same way that you mention with vt & ht being an assigned friendship. But throughout my experience in this ward that I'm in now, I have grown to learn so much more about this calling and I have accepted it completely.
First off, visiting teaching is a calling. Heavenly Father guides the relief society president and her counselors to select which sisters should be companions and whom should teach whom. I have had companionships which have been well fitted and ones that have not. I have had to teach sisters that I didn't really have anything in common with and sisters that I felt like could be my best friend if I put forth the time and effort. But in each and every case, I have learned something more about myself... and something more about the gospel whether it was teaching someone or learning.
I was also a visiting teacher for one person who was not active in the church... but we would seek out a convenient time to visit her and share a message (even if only a brief one). It was as I was coming back to church and being able to share small testimonies that I knew I had, helped me to grow and renew and gain a stronger testimony.
If you feel such a strong aversion to visiting teaching... my suggestion (and it's a simple one, but one that you may not like to hear) ... is to pray about it. Pray for help to understand visiting teaching as a calling or to accept it... or to overcome your problems so that you can serve as Heavenly Father intended. But if you don't want to do it or feel like you can't, tell your RS pres that you don't feel comfortable with the calling. I refused a vt calling for several months after I started coming back to church and my rs pres was completely understanding and did not push it or anything.
I have come to learn so much about a lot of the sisters in my ward. We have some things in common that I would have never learned had I not been their visiting teacher. Visiting teaching is just like any other calling... learning to love those whom you serve whether it be other sisters as a visiting teacher or as a rs president, or serving children in primary. Each of those is an "assigned" job, but the reason for it, is to serve others as Heavenly Father has asked us to do. Sometimes those "assigned" friendships grow into real ones and sometimes not, but Heavenly Father wanted that meeting to happen.
When John became sick a year and a half ago, I knew I had people to sit with at church even though I had never been. I knew I had "friends" to call if I needed something. I even had great home teachers that made me feel the same way. Visiting teachers and home teachers helped me to feel comfortable coming back to church after such a hiatus.
... continued
ReplyDeleteFor people that do not want people showing up at their door, that is their prerogative. However, if we ignore those who need us most because of our own problems we could miss an important opportunity to give someone the hope of coming back to church one day. I would certainly not harass anyone... and if you have been asked not to show up, then don't.
I had people from church show up out of no where once in Fresno and it freaked me out cause I had no idea who these people were... I told them that if they wanted to visit, my phone number was on my records and they could call first. If you reach out to someone by phone first and they ask you not to visit for whatever reason then don't visit.
So I wrote you a book... and I'm not even sure all of it or any of it makes sense... but if you want to ask me anything about it... you have my #.
Ultimately the choice to be a visiting teacher is yours to make... and no one should look down on you or up to you regardless of the choice you make. You know yourself and what you're capable of...
and when it doubt... PRAY ... then follow whatever advice you're given.