Miracle of Forgiveness

It is no secret that it's November, the month of Thanksgiving. It's also no secret that many of my facebook friends post daily what they are thankful for... I don't think I have ever done this, and this year is no exception. However, this year is just a little bit different.  It has been a magnificent year, with miracles in abundance in our home. Ya'll know of the several miracles that I have been able to watch, and be part of this year. However, there is one miracle that has been at the forefront of my mind constantly. It is the miracle of forgiveness... not the book, but the actual act of forgiving someone, something, or ourselves.  As the year is quickly drawing to a close, I must admit that I am beyond grateful for the gift that was endowed upon us called forgiveness.  However, it's up to us if we use it or not.

This concept I have struggled with for a long time. I have been beyond mad at a variety of people. I have been mad at Heavenly Father for calling my mom home. I have been beyond mad at Him for not allowing us to conceive a child.  At one point, I even walked away from the LDS church. I just got so tired of all the questions about why we didn't have kids,  or where were our kids, crap like that. I also got blatantly tired of being told by an entity that I need to be someone who I can not be (a mom).  I really have no idea how or why I found my way back. But I did.  Probably because we moved to Las Vegas to a ward that is not nearly so judgmental.

There is one person in particular that did me so beyond wrong that I didn't think he ever deserved forgiveness from anyone, especially me.  I will spare you the details, but my analogy is that I had to walk through, and out of burning buildings because of this man. He made my entire world catch fire, and everything was destroyed, everything I once knew was gone in a simple blink of an eye because of just one person. And yes, I am related to this person.  I think it's much  harder to forgive family members, after all they are the ones who are supposed to love us unconditionally, however,  family members are most often the ones that hurt us the most. However,  it's imperative to forgive our family members because families really are an eternal unit.

For many years everyone, who had any idea about the situation, told me I needed to forgive him.  I would tell them that I simply couldn't (to this day, no one knows the whole story).

Then one day, I don't know why, but the last time I saw this person I had the simple thought of  "finally, I have forgiven him, of everything. If he were to die tomorrow, everything would be fine and I would have no regrets. " I felt like the weight of the world was lifted off of my shoulders. I felt free. I remember the feeling from that day quite well. I felt like I was finally able to break out of a straight jacket. I was able to walk a little taller with more confidence and I felt much healthier. Yes, I have gotten many comments from my friends here in Las Vegas telling me they have seen a difference in my demeanor, they say I look happier, healthier, and more confident.  I can't deny their suspicions, I feel better than I ever have. I don't know why I chose to forgive him now, on that day, after all of these years but I did.

Part of my job is to help children forgive their parents of the wrong doings that their parents have done to them. One of the activities that we do with them for therapy is we have them write down what they are mad at their parents, or siblings, or whoever for doing unspeakable things to them, and what they are mad at themselves for (because let's face it, there are always two sides to a war) and we put the slips of papers in things such as balloons, and we have the kids throw the balloons at plywood stands or trees, signifying to them that they are letting go of the past hurts, embracing the moment, and looking forward to a future, most often the future includes the child(ren) returning to their nuclear homes. But this wonderful event can't happen if people are still clutching on to their past hurts. I get to explain to them that it's a wonderful thing to do for themselves to forgive others.  However, I think that when you are LDS (and I believe that every one of my readers are LDS) the idea of forgiveness has another layer to it.

At baptism we make a covenant to essentially, live our lives like Chirst lived his.  I have heard hundreds of people, including children, say that can't forgive so and so for this and that.  One of my a-ha moments from this week came from the thought.... if we don't forgive others, then are we really living Christlike lives? If we are not, then are we not breaking a promise that we made with Heavenly Father? Just food for thought, or for your soul. Whichever you would like to think of it as.

I have included a link to a song that I think fits this concept perfectly. Please take a few minutes to listen and to think about this song, and what it offers each of us.

Once I forgave the person that I needed to forgive, I have been able to watch so many miracles occur. I think it's by me forgiving the person, and breaking out of the straightjacket that I was able to more fully live my life. I have never been happier.  There is no doubt in my mind that I needed to forgive the person for myself, not to necessarily benefit him, in order for miracles to occur.

So, I rhetorically ask my readers.... by you not forgiving others, what miracle are you preventing from happening in your life? Also, if we are still hanging on to the past hurts, will we really be able to live happily in the eternities?   For those that say that its something that I think I will do tomorrow, honestly, tomorrow never comes. Tomorrow very quickly becomes today. And life is way too short to live bogged down with grudges.